I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
