no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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