So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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