we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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