it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
