just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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