I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
