i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
