normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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