Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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