I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
