marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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