ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
