is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
