New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
