Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
did i just pee glitter
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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