My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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