if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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