yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
