it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
