Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
