Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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