coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
