Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
