I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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