have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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