PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
