i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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