Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
