we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
