batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
