a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize