I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
