In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
