you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
