Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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