We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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