every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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