I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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