Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
