This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
