ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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