No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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