So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
