My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You made out with two different species that night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
