Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The best revenge is premature balding
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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