Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
