yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How external is "for external use only"?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
