I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
