I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
