This girl is more easily done than said...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
