Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
