no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
