wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
