you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
