Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
