Plan B is the new Plan A
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
