He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just want to make out with him forever
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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