Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
