The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
