I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
