Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
