No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
