I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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