Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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