Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
3pm strippers are depressing
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
