Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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